Lindell's Journal - 2022 Evaluation and Celebration

Gosh, just writing the heading '2022 Evaluation and Celebration' creates a wave of pressure in my body. 
So many thoughts run through my head:
- What if I forget to celebrate something
- What if I don't have as much to celebrate as I thought I did
- What if I do this wrong and go off on a tangent
- What if I've gone backwards the past year....

Whoa, fascinating. 
It also feels overwhelming at the same time, ALL the things I want to acknowledge will take forever. 

So I'm going to give myself 10 minutes for this evaluation and celebration and then spend the day reflecting on it. I can always come back and add to it if I want to. Or just remember things I miss here, soak up the pride, celebrate them and NOT add them here. It doesn't have to be perfect. 

When I think about the year I've had it's been one of the biggest years of my life. 
We finished renovating our townhouse, put it on the market, sold it. 
Found our new house. Bought it. Cleaned it for 3 months (it was filthy), then moved to the gardens where we are still working. We've done SO much work. We also converted half of the garage into office space. 
We kept parenting through all of that ha ha
Guiding our kids through their growth. 
We now have a home we have dreamt of for almost 2 decades. 

That's all pretty much materialistic. I do believe our lives have enhanced with the change of our home. But it hasn't been the thing that has enriched our lives the most. 

(just interrupted by my son to go to a pokemon go raid up at the park ha ha, no thanks)

The thing I'm most proud of In 2022 and what I think really enriched my life and the lives of those around me was practicing identifying my feelings, leaning into them, practicing feeling them, and talking about them (I went from being a very proud feelings avoider thinking feelings were dumb/pointless/weak and best pushed down). 

(Just interrupted by my dad and brother asking what the whole family's plan is today)

I can't believe this one thing is something I value so much today. At the beginning of the year I thought I could theoretically know that feelings needed processing, and how to process them, but I didn't have to practice it. I didn't see the value in practicing it. 

Today, acknowledging what I feel (OMG just interrupted by a call from my mother-in-law, how to make the packet mix of tiramisu she sent home with my husband last night that I need to make and bring tomorrow) 
So right now I'm feeling so demanded (not in a good way). I'm going to pause this, go make myself a coffee, process this 'demanding' feeling and come back here. It'll be a gift I give myself. 

Ok, I'm feeling reflective again.
So today I am so much faster at acknowledging what I'm feeling, I process the emotions much easier and I move forward. I have less moments of stewing and sitting in resistance. 
I feel much more powerful, capable of feeling any emotion, no matter how uncomfortable, and able to move forward sooner. 
Even talking about feelings has been uncomfortable for me, thinking "they probably think I'm a nut case" and feeling judged, and doing it anyway. 
Thoughts I've practiced "this empowers me", "this is true wealth", "Emotional freedom is what I'm practicing", "this is a gift I want to give myself and my family/friends", "this is how I want to live my life, being true to myself and my body". 

So emotional power and freedom is something I've created for myself in 2022. It's been a ripple affect for those around me too.

Another area that I've really experienced progress in is Freedom from Food too. 
At the beginning of 2022 I knew I wanted more freedom from food and I half believed it was possible for me to achieve, there was doubt there too. 
Questions I've tackled this year have been:
- Is it even possible to be free from food
- If I'm free from food will I be the weight I want to be?
- How can I possibly be completely free from food 100% of the time?
- Am I leading all these Tribies astray?

What I now know and believe, have practiced, and have lot's of evidence for is:
- The 6 step process I created this year 100% works to create freedom from food.
- Freedom from food is a mindset that is practiced. You do not gain the mindset and maintain it 100% of the time, you practice the mindset, over and over, you forget it and practice it some more, until it becomes your default mindset. I've got so much evidence for this from myself and Tribies. 
- There is nothing wrong with any of us. When we are not in a Low Weight Cycle we are having thoughts that have us doing High Weight Cycle behaviours. 
- Weight is just weight. Wellbeing is more important. And when I focus on my wellbeing, how I'm feeling, I do the behaviours that create my goal weight. 
- When Freedom from food is known then the weight of 'weight loss' fades and you begin to live your life more freely, fuller and greater. 

Another lesson I've learnt this year is that I can be grateful, LOVE myself and my life, be super happy with where I am, who I am, what I am... AND want to change, grow and make further progress. 
AND I don't even HAVE TO if I don't want to. 
The first step 1) Know what you want has really been a great lesson for me this year. 
To ask myself 'what do I want?' and question my answer each time too, "is that really what I want? or is that what I think I should want? Is that what I want or is that what other people want and I just want them to be happy?" exploring this first step has been so valuable for me this year. 
I've been able to gift myself more of what I want, and in turn, those around me have gained. 

I'm going to stop there. There's so much more but I've been at this for an hour now, with interruptions and all. This here has been a reflection for myself. I'm putting it here so I can get it out and down on paper. It's open to you to read it. Make of it what you will, take what helps and leave what doesn't. 

It feels like such a strange (and my brain is saying WRONG) way to close out the year in the Tribe, but here it is. Unedited thoughts and reflections from my very human brain. 

Wishing you a beautiful human year in 2023, full of curiosity, awareness and growth.

2023 will be the year I have 200 women achieve Prima. 
The 6 Step process and coaching will get you there. 
Let's do this. 

I'm back to add one more thing I thought of. 
This year I have realised that being skinny or thin, at prima goal weight is not the goal. 
When I got to Prima Goal weight I felt so scared of regaining all the weight and what that would mean about me as a person, that I'm a complete failure and not worth loving. 
I felt like it all could be lost in a blink of an eye (I think that's the saying?). 
What I've realised, what I know now is that so many thin people are miserable. 
That your weight isn't what creates your self love and worth. YOU create that for yourself and you can create that at any weight.
My goal now is to help all Tribies learn to love themselves and know their worth AND create the health they want for themselves. 
You're here for weight loss but I have much greater plans for you my friend. I want the world for you.