Lindell's Journal 15th- 21st December 2022

I want to journal daily and share it with anyone it's helpful for. 

I also love journaling here for myself as a habit. 

So I'll continue with a weekly journal entry that I can add to each day during that week. That'll keep everything together and more easily accessible. 

It's 15th December as I start this. I've just finished my 30 Days of Practice. 

I'm the exact same weight as I was yesterday in my final check in but I don't feel the same way. 

Its fascinating when that happens. 

The Indian Aloo Paratha's I had for dinner last night are not something I eat often and they've made me feel uncomfortable. It's so helpful to reflect right now about how I feel after eating them as it will help me next time I'm considering them. 
When I do have them I usually have them for breakfast with a cup of tea. I'm going to make that my rule. Only have them for breakfast (when I've got the day to digest them moving around). 

I've also got a very sore neck. So sore I took a voltaren which I never take. But it's helped a lot. 

Ok, off to do the Prima call with the beautiful primas then I'll come back and check in some more here and set my plan.  

Gosh, it's 4.12pm and it's been a full on day. I forgot to come back and set my plan for the day so I defaulted to my Base Plan which is:
Lunch: Protein and Veg
Dinner: Protein and veg
Other: yoghurt, berries and coconut. 
Chocolate after dinner.
2 coffees and 2 teas. 

I've had tinned salmon and salad for lunch. 
Had 3 coffees as my husbands old aunty and uncle dropped in (the house was a mess) and so I kept them company with a coffee. Oh well, I'm still practicing to have what I want. 

Dinner is undecided yet. We're out at the final summer soccer game which is in our old suburb so thinking of having one of our old favourites from over there. It will either be chinese, japanese or chicken and chips. I'm committed to having just protein and veg no starchy carbs. They just don't feel great in my body. 

I'll have a chocolate after dinner and a cuppa then I'll close my kitchen for the day. 

Big win in that I made a super big salad for lunch and stopped eating when I reached a +4. There wasn't that much left but I managed to not eat it and stop where I felt good. So proud of me, that's a new win and something I want to practice more. 

Dinner was chicken and salad plus 4 hot chips. 1 chocolate after dinner, not cuppa.

Dinner

Lunch.

Christmas Chocolates. 1 per night 😋

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 16th December 2022

Weight -200g. 
I had a great day following my plan yesterday. 
I feel like I'm in such a great rhythm. 
I noticed a thought creep up this morning "drama will be here soon". Almost like a "you're going well, how long will this last" kind of thing. 
So I feel like I want to address this for myself out loud. Face it front on so I can eliminate the power it might hold on me. 

C: Setting a plan daily and showing up to it 80%
T: How long will this last? When will you get bored? You'll fall over eventually.
F: Tightness in my stomach. Worried, hesitant, weakened.
A: I haven't taken any action on this yet. I'm here to face it front on and coach on it. Question it. Poke it and see what's going on there. I'm here to interrupt this model. 

If I didn't proactively interrupt this model I'd probably become a result of the thought and prove it true. 

So, let me answer: How long will this last? 
Well, I'm living life how I want to live it. I expect I'll not be perfect. I expect there will be times when I don't follow my plan in future. What I do know though is that I really don't like feeling overfull and whenever I am aware and practice with the hunger scale it's very hard for me to get to that overfull feeling. Anytime I have awareness even when I keep eating, I always avoid the 'overfull' feeling. So that's good to know. It's unlikely I'll experience overfull often in future. 
When will I get bored? Well, I've created a routine of checking in here. I know the value of this routine and following the 6 step process. So if I ever do get bored, all I need to do is get back to the 6 step process. Being on the 6 step process makes it interesting. It has me avoid boredom because the first step 'decide what you want/know what you want' really creates excitement for me. And my answer to that first step will keep changing as I progress through my health goals. 
I will only ever get bored if I don't follow the process, if I give up and eat all the things. That's the only version of my life that's boring. 
When I live my like how I want to, intentionally, shining as bright as I can, it's impossible for me to get bored. 

You'll fall over eventually. Yep, that's true. And let's look at what 'fall over' means. Let's take the heaviness and drama away from that sentence. Fall over just means 'eat off plan (probably for a day or a few). So yes, that's likely to happen and SO WHAT. When that happens I just need to get back to the 6 step process and remind myself it's only happened because of my thoughts. That's all. Not because weight maintenance became hard all of a sudden but because I had a thought that made it feel hard. 
My sneaky brain will probably tell me the circumstance created it or I was fooling myself when I thought it was easy or there was ease and flow. But with coaching I can get back to "weight loss and maintenance has ease and flow for me with the 6 step process". 

Ok, I'm feeling so much more confident having extinguished those sneaky whispers. 

Here's my weight graph from the past month. 
I'm feeling SO MUCH better in myself, so much more intentional and on my health path. 

Sharing to show you it's not all downwards. And it means nothing about me. 
I feel amazing and I am amazing. 
I was amazing when I started my 30 days of practice, I just wasn't feeling amazing. 

We are each amazing women no matter what today's weight is. 

Today's plan for me:
2 coffees.
2 teas.
Lunch out at a cafe with my Mother in law for her birthday. 
Dinner - Protein and vegetables.
Chocolate after dinner.
Yoghurt and fruit plus coconut and nuts if I want it. 
Or 
Fava beans. 
Cake for my mil too.

If we end up going to my inlaws for my mil's birthday dinner then I'll have whatever is served but just eat to +2 or +3. I don't want to eat to +4 on something that doesn't make my body feel great. 

Off to have a great day with the kids and my MIL.

Great day was had. She had such a great time. We went for a hike to some Aboriginal carvings in the Royal National Park. Then Fish and Chips in the park by the beach. It was late, I ate yoghurt, mango and coconut before I left the house around 11.30am (my MIL was eating breakfast when I got to her house). 
So lunch was about 2.30pm. I ate until a +3 on the hunger scale. 
Then we had cake around 5pm and dinner around 7pm which was pizza and salad. I had 2 small thin slices and a good serve of salad. I said no to ice cream after dinner but did have a chocolate. I also said no to beer and wine. 

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Saturday 17th December 2022

Feeling good. A little bit blurgh after yesterday but ok. Just not like I'm shining bright with a spring in my step. No worries, I've got today to get my spring back. 

Weight +500g

Neck still very sore. I went for a last minute massage yesterday afternoon. Gosh I felt so cared for by myself. And I know my husband loves me looking after myself and being kind to myself. 

Today we have my sister and bro-in-law coming for another working bee in the yard. This is the final push. 

Lunch - probably chicken and salad. I need a great big salad. 
Dinner - Salmon and salad. 
Other - Fava beans or yoghurt, fruit and coconut. A few mixed nuts too if I want.
No beer, no wine. 
1 chocolate after dinner if I want. 
Lot's of water
And I really really want to gift myself some yoga today. 

Have a beautiful day.

Oh gosh, what a wonderful day but not on plan. 
I had protein and salad for lunch (nori wraps) then we did Christmas baking (my sister and niece and I). 
I had 4 cookies and a Bailey's. 
Then dinner was Pizza AGAIN! 
I had 2 big pieces. 
I offered my husband a glass of wine (so I could have one) and he said yes. Then I just never poured it ha ha. He didn't even notice the wine never arrived. 
So I did have some wins but it wasn't the day I planned. I feel like I had a whole heap more off plan but looking back it actually wasn't as much as I thought. 

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Sunday 18th December 2022

The scales are up (I can't remember but I think it was about 400g). 
My brain's first reaction was "oh dear, you've lost the plot" but I was able to catch that thought and see that it makes sense my weight is up and it's still a whole lot less than it was a month ago. 
Plus, I would want to change what I ate yesterday if I had it over again. 
I'd have 1 less slice of pizza for dinner and I'd have 2 less cookies and no bailey's. Good to know. 

Today we're out for lunch. I've looked at the menu and I'm choosing protein and salad. No dessert. 
I'm wanting to be back on plan not because of the weight but because of how I feel today. 
I think this is key to long term weight maintenance. 
Falling in love with the feeling of wellbeing vs the number on the scale. Because you can be the same number on the scale and feel 100 different feelings at that weight. 
So I encourage you to fall in love with how great you feel eating well, looking after yourself. 
Drop the 'can and can't' 'good and bad' thoughts. Just focus on how you feel right now. 

I also was thinking and preparing for Christmas mentally with all the different people, ways of thinking and behaving. I realise I get worked up with the following model:

C - Other people, what they say, their behaviour...
T - "They think/do this and they should be thinking/doing that"
F - agitated, determined, annoyed, worked up
A - I either try to teach them my thoughts and actions
Or
Bite my tongue while feeling super annoyed and stewing on the feelings the whole event and then let it all out to my husband once the event is over. 
R - I don't act in a way I want to, I don't fully enjoy the event, I don't live my life how I want to live it. 

Here's my intentional model for the holiday season:
C - Other people, what they say, their behaviour...
T - Everyone's so different and they obviously have a different thought/belief than I have. Isn't that interesting.
I'm in curious mode, let's observe. 
Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. 
There's no right or wrong, there is just lot's of people with lot's of thoughts. 
F - curious, accepting
A - Let people be themselves, connect and accept easier, be a nicer person to be around.
R - I show up as the version of me I want to be. 

This intentional model will take practice because I've practiced the unintentional model SO MUCH. 

I've got this. 

Dinner today will be either nothing (depending on how much I eat today for lunch) or light. 
Maybe sushi party pancake or something similar. 

I had 2 eggs before I left for lunch because it was going to be so late. 

Lunch was a big plate of mixed ribs shared with my husband. We got salad with it too. I had about 8 sweet potato fries with it also and a 1/4 of a beer. 
After we had cake and a cup of tea. That was it. 

I had a cup of tea in the evening and my Christmas chocolate.

When I got home I decided I was going to have a Gin and Tonic. I got out the tonic water but it was zero sugar (I like the real stuff). I paused and thought about it and decided not to have one.
Then I made my cuppa. I realised I was making my cuppa as an excuse to have the Christmas cookies I'd made yesterday. So glad I caught that sneaky brain. I decided I could have one tomorrow if I put it on my plan. 

That's key for me. If I say I can't have one then I feel restricted and rebel. 
But when I say I can have it, it's not no it's just not yet. I can have it tomorrow if I put it on my plan, it's so much more helpful. 

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Monday 19th December 2022

Feeling much better this morning than I was feeling yesterday morning. 

I realise (for the 1000th time) how  much food I used to eat each day and what the amount caused for me. I ate relatively healthy but the amount was A LOT. 
Adjusting the amount of food (using the hunger scale not counting calories now) is the beginning of freedom from food. 

Weight - 500g 

Feeling calm about food, stressed about Christmas and the 2 weeks around it. I've got A LOT on. 

Thoughts: Why does it all fall onto me to organise.
We're not setting a great example for the kids if us women are doing all the work. 
I've got SO MUCH to do. 
It's unfair

Those thoughts aren't helpful for me. 
Power thoughts I want to practice:
I'm great at organising and I actually enjoy it and enjoy knowing what's planned. 
This is a great opportunity for us to get everyone involved and it's a great opportunity to change a generation. (I'm going to have to do a lot more self coaching on this one). 
I've got a great list of what I need to get done and I'll get it done. I may as well enjoy doing it then drag my feet. Pump up the Christmas music. 
Gosh, it's certainly not unfair for me. I'm so blessed and fortunate. When we practice non-gender based roles we work towards fairness amongst us. 

Well there's a lot there I can keep coaching on this week. 

Food plan today:
2 coffess
2 teas
Zucchini (got so many growing in the garden) and eggs with garlic and chilli for lunch
Salmon and salad for dinner.
1 short bread cookie with my cuppa this afternoon and 1 chocolate after dinner. 
No alcohol, nothing else needed. 
Eat to the hunger scale +3 (want to try that today). 

I've been doing yoga each day for the past couple of days (since I said I wanted to). It feels so good. 
So I will do yoga again today. I'll increase the time to 20 minutes (baby steps hey). 

Power thoughts: I've got everything I need to live the life I want to live.
I AM living the life I want to live. 
This is how I want to live the Christmas season.
I feel SO good when I follow my plan. I feel light and energetic. 
I'm gifting myself THE BEST gift I could possibly give myself and I love myself for that. 
Breath. Breath. Breath. 
Pause, how do I feel? 
When I check in with myself it's a gift. 
I can feel any feeling and I'll still live. 
I'm here to live this day intentionally.
I'm in control of me.
I make my own decisions.

Stayed on plan except had 4 cookies instead of 1. 
Pretty good day.

My brother arrived with his family from NZ and stopped by my place on his way to dads. So great to see him after 4 years!

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Tuesday 20th December 2022

Feeling great. 
Great day yesterday. Went to bed feeling a bit meh after 4 cookies but feel great this morning. 

Plan for today: 

Eeeep, not sure. I'm jumping on a coaching call with a private client so will spend some time after that setting my plan. 

Weight -300g. Back to the lowest it's been recently. 

Ended up not planning. 

Had chicken and salad for lunch. Oh, that was after 2 eggs before I left the house. 
Had 4 small pieces of chocolate 80% at dads and a very small glass of wine with my family (added as if that justifies it ha ha).

Dinner was smoked salmon, salad and nori wrap. 
I had 1 plus 2 extra serves of salad. 
Then 1 chocolate and 1 short bread cookie. 
I felt a +5 or +6 on the hunger scales. 

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Wednesday 21st December. 
I think I'm meant to be starting a new entry in the backstage area. OH well, I'm here and I've got to jump on a coaching call so I'll quickly do it here. 

Weight +200g.

Feeling a great big headache and very sore in my shoulders and neck. I've got to do something about this.

There's a lot on from now until gosh, mid January. A LOT. 
I will need to self coach on that. 

 Just got coached myself and feel AMAZING. 
30 minute session and I feel transformed for the year ahead. 
I'm so confident I'll create everything I want to create in 2023 and be the version of me I want to be. 
I'll be bringing this forward thinking exercise to the Tribe between xmas and New Year. 

Quick plan for today before my next call:
3 coffees, 2 teas, 
Salmon and salad nori for lunch. 
Sausages and Salad for dinner. 
yoghurt, mango and coconut if I want. 
1 shortbread cookie, 1 chocolate. 
Lot's of water. Lot's and lot's. I feel like I'm dehydrated. 

 Ok next day summary of yesterday.
Had sausages and salad for lunch. 
2 coffees. 
Then had some nuts. 
Had a kombucha
2 shortbread cookies. 
For dinner I was not very hungry so had strawberries, yoghurt and nuts. 

Oh, I had an alcoholic ginger beer too. 

I was not feeling well around 1pm so had a 1 hour nap. Woke feeling a bit better and pushed through. Felt much better by the evening. 

That's my week. 
Let me check where I started and where I finished:
Feeling: Current feeling is calm but not thriving. I'd say I'm a 2 on the blurgh scale (I totally just made that up). If 0 is indifferent and 10 is feeling totally yuk, I'm at about a 2 or 3. 
Where did I start the week?
I didn't actually capture much about how I was feeling earlier this week. 
Here's the first feeling I can find: I feel like I'm in such a great rhythm. 

So I guess I started the week in a rhythm and I'm finishing the week out of rhythm. 
It's a couple of days until Christmas, our routine is OUT and lot's is happening. It makes A LOT of sense that I'm not feeling like I'm in a rhythm. 

I'll move onto the next week now.